Just call me crazy

Our next schedule at work was finalized today.  I have decided to sign up an extra 12 hour shift a week at work.  I will put the majority of the extra money towards saving for IVF.  I have one more thing I want payed off so a little will go towards that too.  I'm hoping I will be able to work this extra day without a problem.  I normally work 32 hours/week and this will put me at 44 hours/week, so it's nothing crazy.  I have scheduled three days in a row every week and I usually dont like doing that!  I hope this goes well because this is my plan from now on.  I'm sure we'll have to take out a loan but I would like to make it as small as possible!

Along with the extra money I will be getting "points" for overtime shifts that can go towards different things in an online "shop".  I've never logged on to it, so I need to check it out sometime.  I need to find something to work towards...other than a baby. 

Late

So far I'm two days late.  I was supposed to start on Tuesday and I haven't even started spotting yet.  This is really odd because I usually start spotting a day or so early.  I don't have my hopes up because the B6 is supposed to make my cycle longer, so I guess it's finally doing it's job.  Last cycle I spotted for a week before AF and this cycle I am late.  I'll try to wait patiently for AF to show up but I don't know how much more of this teasing I can take!

It's the most depressing time of the year....

Don't get me wrong but I do LOVE the holiday season but it's a very depressing time of year for anyone who has been trying to get pregnant but have not had any success.  I think this year will be the worse year because of our unsuccessful treatments. 

This past summer I was so excited to get started and be pregnant by Thanksgiving.  I had even imagined telling my extended family at Thanksgiving since I had the day off and would be at Thanksgiving dinner at my grandparents.  I was even hopeful that last month was THE month but it wasnt.  Any time I start to think of it I start to tear up, it's just so hard not to.

I have also had our ornament for this year picked out.  I found it while looking at ornaments last year.  One day I just hope I will be able to purchase that ornament.  I was looking at ornaments Sunday night and decided I dont want to do a personalized ornament this year.  I have gotten a new personalized ornament every year since we have gotten married.  I think I will just go to Hobby Lobby and find an ornament I can personalize myself.  It wont be the same but oh well.  I'm not in the mood this year.

Shawn got his call from the urologist and the appointment is set for the end of January.  I'm so glad it's so far out because that will give us time to cancel it.  I know I had been so gung-ho about seeing a different urologist but they want charge us $390 for the initial appointment.  And then the following appointments are $290 a pop!  Insurance will reimburse us if it's covered but still we're wanting to save some money for IVF.  I have decided I dont want to pay almost $400 for someone to tell us there is nothing we can do to help Shawn's sperm.  I just need to remind Shawn to cancel it when the time comes.

I think once we get through Christmas we'll be able to start stashing money away for IVF.  I think the best plan will be to open a new savings account where we wont have easy access to the money.  I'm not sure how much I will get saved but some is better than none!

The Consult

I felt like today was a waste of money.  And the consult cost us a LOT more than last time because of the insurance switch.  I need to start looking into what our new insurance covers!

Today we talked about our options.  We could continue with a few more cycles of IUI's but we most likely wouldnt get pregnant because the success rate decreases with the more you have.  We also talked about IVF, the process and the cost.  I think we're going to start saving for that and looking into that option more.  He said that our fertility status shouldnt change in soon, so we could save for a year or so before we come back.

In the mean time, I have gotten Shawn a consult with another urologist.  It will make me feel better to have a second opinion since I felt like the first one blew us off.  We will most likely not get any new answers but it will give me peace of mind.

I have also told my parents about what's been going on.  It will be nice to have some more support in our family.  More friends know what's going on than family and I'm ok with that.

Also, what I thought could be implantation spotting ended up lasting a week before AF finally showed up.  It was awful!  I dont know if it had anything to do with the B6 or stress (I really didnt feel stressed) but I really hope it doesnt happen again!

I plan to continue with the B6.  It's not hurting anything so why not.

I plan to update the blog periodically but not sure how frequently.

Implantation bleeding?

This cycle has been full of confusion!  I spotted a couple of times last week around ovulation and then today I am spotting again.  Today is DPO (Day Past Ovulation) 7, or at least that's what I would guess since I did nothing this cycle to keep up when I ovulated.  DPO 7 would be a perfect day for Implantation Bleeding.  But you have to keep in mind that I have a wacked up cycle lately and like to start early.  I've never started a week early though.  I "should" start on Friday but with how things have been it would more likely be Monday-Wednesday.  I'm hoping that the B6 is working and will add a few days to my cycle or maybe I am pregnant. 

I have mentioned today's spotting to a few of people and they have decided I'm pregnant.  I am not even thinking that because I will not be getting my hopes up just to be dissapointed next week.  I have decided to start temping tomorrow morning.  I had done it long enough that I know what my average should be before AF shows up and the drop that will happen predicting AF.  I am really not sure what to think this time around.

Ovulation bleeding

I learned something new this week. Ovulation bleeding! Who knew that was such a thing. This week I spotted Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday and I was supposed to ovulate around Friday. So I consulted Dr. Google and he told me that ovulation bleeding real and a rare sign of fertility.

I wonder if it's because I started taking B6 this cycle. That's only thing different this cycle other than no fertility treatments.

Who knows. I just wanted to share my lesson or this week.

Wasting time

It feels kinda odd not going to the doctor every couple of days.  I feel like I'm wasting time too.  I wish there was a simple fix but there's not.  And it's definitely not going to be cheap either!

I've started taking B6 last week.  I'm hoping it will lengthen my luteal phase (LP) since I think it's a little short.  I should probably start temping again so I know when I ovulated, so I can tell if it worked.

I'm hoping Shawn can come to the consult appointment.  He has already asked me if he needs to be there.  I know it's highly encouraged and I'm pretty sure the doctor will want us both there, so we will both hear the options from him and not me relaying them back.  I also want him there so he can ask questions and have a second set of hears.  Plus, what if the doctor asks me something about Shawn that I will not be able to answer?
I mentioned to Shawn the other day that I was going to ask for a Urology consult.  A coworker mentioned last week that OU Medical is #1 in Urology and on the way out she pointed out the sign saying so.  I'm pretty sure the Urologist who checked Shawn out last year was a nutjob just like the Reproductive Endocrinologist.  Why would you wait till our third and final semen analysis to tell us the sperm stick together and then tell us you're done with us and give us no explanation. 

I also mentioned to another coworker, who has had infertility issues, that our original RE had told us "see you in a year" after a year of trying.  And after doing more browsing online I found out that it is considered infertility for a couple under 35 years old and have been trying for one year and if the couple is over 35 years it's only six months.  I knew this before going to the doctor last year but I just thought he knows what he's talking about and went with it.  I know I have mentioned this before and will probably talk about it again but I am beyond frustrated about.  Look at the year I wasted!  But I am glad we didnt do anything then because I wouldn't have been able to do the study.

This afternoon I was reading my Redbook that came in the mail last week.  As I was flipping through it I was excited to see an article on infertility and why it's still taboo even though 1 in 8 couples are dealing with it.  In the middle of this article was an ad for a pregnancy test.  All I could think was REALLY?!?!  You're going to place that ad there?!?!  I dont think it was very classy or smart of Redbook but who am I to decide that stuff?  Let's just say I decided not to finish reading that article because of some idiot who thought it would be smart to place a pregnancy test ad in the middle of an article about infertility.
Anyways...I've been keeping busy around here with a few craft projects.  Maybe I should turn this blog into a craft blog...