On to the final cycle

So very dissapointed!  I had myself hopeful and thinking I was pregnant.  For the last week I've been imagining and even dreaming that I was pregnant.  I even had a dream that it was twins.  Then AF reared her ugly head and brought me back to reality.

I had my whole weekend planned out.  I was going to test on Saturday and see a (+) pregnancy test.  Then go in to the doctor on Sunday and get my (+) blood test.  Followed by some celebratory breakfast and church.

Wednesday I felt like I was going to start any minute but AF didnt show until Thursday afernoon.  I still feel like my cycles are too short but if the clinic say they're okay, then I guess they're long enough.  Looks like I'm on to my fourth and final cycle.

I have no idea what we're going to do after this if it doesnt work.  I really want to experience being pregnant but I'm still not sure about IVF (in-vitro fertilization) for two reasons.  First, I had a friend who worked on a pediatric oncology unit and she had noticed there were a lot of IVF babies.  I mentioned this to another friend of mine and she also noticed a similar trend on a different pediatric oncology unit.  Second, I dont know how we will afford it.  A single cycle costs about $13,000 and that doesnt include medications or freezing/storing extra embryos.  There are progams to get multiple cycles at a discount.  And there are also scholarships and loans available to help with the costs.  But what if this doesnt work either? 

Then there is also fostering, fostering to adopt, and private adoption.  I dont know if I could hadle fostering but I could foster with the intention to adopt.  But the problem with all of these options are that we are wanting to move out of state in a couple years.  How will that effect this things?

This is just some of what keeps going through my head.  I guess I will go for now.  The next appointment is on Sunday morning, so I plan to update sometime on Sunday.